Spock, What was Said and What was Meant


The following are lines Spock might have said followed by what was really said:

This celebratory gathering occurs at my behest and I shall be lachrymose if it so befits me.
     Answer: It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

She chooses to purchase a terraced incline directed toward a post-life paradisiacal region.
     Answer: And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

The leather coverings now encasing my pedal extremities have been manufactured for the specific purpose of ambulatory forward motion.
     Answer: These Boots Were Made For Walkin.

Adieu, jaundiced vehicular pathway consisting of bricks of baked clay.
     Answer: Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road

And we will engage in much jubilant activity until such time as the male parent chooses to repossess her vehicle of motorized transport.
     Answer: And we'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the T-bird away.

The deity had little or nothing to do with the manufacture of minuscule viridescent seed-bearing fruits.
     Answer: God didn't make little green apples.

Allow me the honor of portraying for you a miniaturized representation of a member of the family Ursidae of the order Carnivora.
     Answer: Let me be your Teddy Bear.

You provide illumination for the period of time delimited by my nativity and the complete cessation of my metabolic functions.
     Answer: Again, nitpicky. It's "You Light Up My Life."

Express deep affection towards yours truly in the manner of a hardened igneous object.
     Answer: Love me like a rock.

Spock: I possess the capability of performing ocular scans of manual inscriptions on a vertical partition.
     Answer: I can read the writing on the wall.
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