The TOP TEN Favorite Activities of Capt. Jean-Luc Picard

  1. Ordering Earl Grey tea from the computer, then smacking himself on the forehead and saying "I could have had a V-8!"
  2. Yelling "Punchbuggy!" and hitting Riker's arm whenever he sees a shuttlecraft
  3. Screwing around in the holodeck when he ought to be on the bridge
  4. Spotlighting unsuspecting crewmembers with the glare from his forehead
  5. Lecturing everybody on why it's rude to fire the phasers at other life-forms
  6. Sending crank subspace messages to Starfleet Command asking if Dick Hertz is there
  7. Asking Beverly Crusher to come to his quarters so he can show her "a REAL Picard Maneuver"
  8. Ticking off Romulan commanders during tense confrontations in the Neutral Zone by asking "Are those Bugle Boy jeans you're wearing?"
  9. Telling crewmembers in menacing, Dirty Harry voice, "Go ahead, Make it so"
  10. Putting banana peels on the transporter pads just before an away team beams back up
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