SUREFIRE SIGNS THAT STAR TREK IS TAKING OVER YOUR LIFE
- Saying "make it so" in casual conversation
- Indignation because the periodic table doesn't include
dilithium and tritanium.
- Able to use "variable phase inverter" in a sentence without
excessive thought first
- More than one pair of Spock ears on junk drawer
- Have figured out the stardate system
- Sudden urge to wear lots of Lycra
- Scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol
- The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your dreams
- Major quote sources for thesis are Shakespeare, the Bible, and
"The Omega Glory"
- Memorization of the crew's authorization codes
- Forgetting that present-day elevators don't have voice
- Attending a convention wearing non-Terran vestments
- Actual serious thoughts about buying that $300 model of the
Enterprise from the Franklin Mint
- Understanding Klingon
- Lecturing any science professor on how transporters work
- Playing fizzbin and understanding it
- "The Outrageous Okona" seems like a fine piece of writing and
- Paying rapt attention during those endless special effects
sequences in ST:TMP
- Inexplicable rock-climbing urges
- More than three original episode outlines buried in your
- You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the
green skinned Orion slave girl on episode number 7.
- You pull the legs off your hamster so you'll have a tribble.
- You tried to join the navy just so you could serve aboard the
- Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a
Klingon and torture you for information.
- You went to San Francisco to see of you might bump into Kirk
and crew while they were in the 20th century looking of a whale.
- Your college thesis was a comparison of the illustrious
careers of T.J. Hooker and Captain Kirk.
- You fly into a homicidal rage anytime people say, "Star Trek?
Isn't that the one with Luke Skywalker?"
- You have no life.
- You recognize more than four references on this list.
- You join NASA, hijack a shuttle, and head for the coordinates
you calculated for the planet Vulcan.
- The UPS guy hands you his electronic clipboard and you're
tempted to call him the "Captain's Yeoman" as you sign it.
- Phrases like 'sentient being' start creeping into your speech
- When you find yourself singing "Headin' Back to Eden" in the
shower and you know *all* the words.
- You start practicing raising one eyebrow in front of a mirror.
- Someone tells a joke and your only comment is: "Humor, a
- You flip open your cellular phone and expect to hear it
- You always win the free slice of pizza at the local pizza
place when they have Star Trek trivia questions.
- You ask local pet stores if they stock tribbles . . and if
- You find yourself executing the "Picard Maneuver."
- You get on an elevator full of people and have to catch
yourself before you tell it what floor you want.
- You walk to the microwave and start to order dinner.
- Sitting in traffic you seriously start wondering why you're
using this primitive form of transportation.
- After seeing a news story about a police shooting you wonder,
for a moment, why they just didn't set it on stun.
- You get upset when you go to get a vanity plate and find that
WARPSPD has already been taken.
- You see a car with a Starfleet Academy sticker and it seems
- You avoid all stores that carry Trek merchandise for fear that
someone will find out about your 'addiction'. :-)
- Your wardrobe consists of a lot of black slacks with
interchangeable gold, red and blue tops.
- All babies start to remind you of Jean-Luc Picard.
- You drive by a used car lot and start looking for Ferengi
- You start watching commercials because so many Trek alumni are
doing the voice-overs.
- You know you watch too much Trek when someone asks you to
quote some Shakespeare and you do it in Klingon.
- You start making lists of the signs that you've been watching
too much Trek!