The Top Ten Secrets of the Enterprise

  1. All routine maintenance is done by Oompa-Loompas.
  2. Pulaski was sealed in an unused Jeffries Tube by Data when she insulted him too many times.
  3. Riker's parents were Nazis. His initial "T" is for "Third" (Get it?)
  4. Troi starts all counseling sessions with males asking "So is that a phaser rifle in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?
  5. Before joining Starfleet, Picard was a Chippendale's dancer.
  6. "Worf" is Klingon for "pinhead".
  7. Riker amuses himself by signing all reports "F. Off." (For first officer, twit)
  8. Geordi is taking a shuttle apart and mailing it home piece by piece.
  9. Picard is Wesley's father.
  10. Due to a time-travel accident, Wesley is Picard's father.