56 Ways You Know You're Too Serious About Computers...
- If you did an error-free installation of Windows 95.
- When your modem starts smoking.
- If no one can reach you by phone since your computer is always
- If you log-off your system because it's time to go to work.
- If you call in sick because you found a great new WWW site.
- If you can type your top 10 favorite Web sites, by heart.
- If you can locate a particular home page without using a
- If you can write your own html page.
- If you can access more than 20 erotic no-pay sites.
- If you download more than 20Mb of from a binary newsgroup, in
- If while reading a magazine, you look for the Zoom icon for a
better look at a photograph.
- You comment, while watching a sunset, that the image would be
enhanced with 10% more magenta and a higher resolution.
- If while driving down the street, you are confused by the
numbers on the houses - they do not appear to be legitimate WWW
- When someone tells you to remember something, and you look for
- When you discover there is no little car icon with a forward
arrow on the dashboard of your car, to make it go.
- When you think the File/Kill command should apply to your
- When you find it easier to dial-up the National Weather
Service Weather/your_town/now.html than to simply look out the
- When you start using phrases like:
- If you have a heart attack when you forgot to pay your phone
bill and receive a "pending disconnection of service" notice.
- When you order most of what you buy... online.
- If your fingers quit moving because you've been online for 36
- When you find yourself engaged to someone you've never
actually met; except through e-mail.
- When you log-off from a session in your favorite newsgroup...
and your log reads: Online time: 56 hours 24 minutes.
- If your net provider suggests you try a competitor, because
you're exceeding 300 hours a month connect time.
- When you add your third modem and dedicated phone line.
- You access Microsoft's Web page every Sunday morning for
Brother Bill's sermon.
- When that 112Gb hard drive is full.
- If 133 Mhz is simply too slow.
- When your desk collapses under the weight of your computer
- If you have an "online" light installed on your car to tell
you when the engine is running.
- When you discover that in order to drive your car somewhere,
you do not enter an http:// or ftp:// address.
- If you can actually talk to the computers in your new car -
and under- stand what they say.
- When you modify the programming of your car's computers and
actually get better mileage.
- When you can access the Net - via your portable and cellular
- If on the way home from work, you use your portable and
cellular phone in your car, to reprogram a Tomahawk missile, in
flight, and redirect it to take out the joker in the Cadillac who
cut you off.
- If you try to press Alt-F4 to close your car window.
- When you put a CD-ROM in your car's player.
- When someone tells you about a great new program and you're
very disappointed to find it's on TV.
- If every sentence you utter begins with, "On the Net..."
- If you put your e-mail address in the upper left-hand corner
- If you have your e-mail address printed on your stationary.
- When you insist on seeing the movie "The Net" - for the 63rd
- When you have the movie "The Net" on CD-ROM.
- If magazines like "InterNetWorld" are of greater interest than
"Playboy" or "Playgirl".
- If you maintain more than 6 e-mail addresses.
- If you use more than 20 passwords.
- If you setup your own Web page.
- If you setup a Web page for each of your kids... and your
- If, instead of a phone number, you ask someone for their
- If you don't know anyone who DOESN'T have an e-mail addresses.
- If, to you, 'safe sex' means doing it online.
- If you convince your mom that she HAS to get online because
e-mail is so much cheaper than long distance phone charges.
- If you can relate to one of the above.
- If you can relate to all the above.
- If you deny these relate to you.
- If you can write a list like this.