63 ways to procrastinate

  1. Jump up and down in the hallway until your head hits the ceiling.
  2. Play with phonemail until you can get the mega-bitch to say "I do not understand this command."
  3. Write all your friends from home who don't give a crap how you are doing.
  4. Play assassination.
  5. Play with E mail.
  6. Write random nymphomaniacs on UNIX.
  7. Do your laundry.
  8. Go to Clemons and watch the newest feature film.
  9. Do handstands in the halls.
  10. Go to Rugby and challenge yourself by trying to get in a fraternity where you are not on the guest list.
  11. Throw on the Cars and jam out with hallmates.
  12. Go meet people in the next dorm.
  13. Send E mail to yourself.
  14. Take a nap.
  15. Don't vacuum, just pick the things off of your carpet.
  16. Decorate your walls with random flyers you took from the mailroom.
  17. Rearrange your room.
  18. Scream at people out your window and then hide.
  19. Iron all of your clothes.
  20. Play tecmo bowl.
  21. Have sex.
  22. Engage in dormcest.
  23. Eat peanuts.
  24. Streak the Lawn.
  25. Discuss with your roommate the reason for there being so many steps around grounds.
  26. Go to Slaughter and watch people work out.
  27. Make mixed tapes.
  28. Take out your garbage.
  29. Check your mail.
  30. Make popcorn.
  31. Go down the hall and read the messages on everyone's doors.
  32. Read the Cavalier Daily and UJ.
  33. See if you can eat 6 Saltines in one minute without drinking anything.
  34. Recycle. (don't forget to rinse and crunch).
  35. Sharpen all of your pencils.
  36. Eat fruit.
  37. Take a shower.
  38. Stare at your bookbag.
  39. Go pick up your tickets for the next basketball game.
  40. Make up a problem and go bother your RA for an hour or two.
  41. Pull the fire alarm and see how many fire trucks you can get to come to your dorm.
  42. Have your hallmates play with your hair.
  43. Sleep with someone (but don't try anything).
  44. Flush the toilet.
  45. Make a swimming pool in the shower room.
  46. Brush your hair.
  47. Call random people and ask if John is there.
  48. Go off on your roommate.
  49. Clean your dirty dishes.
  50. Eat.
  51. Drink.
  52. Be merry.
  53. Make lists for E mail to send to your friends.
  54. Get into an argument about politics with a conservative.
  55. Listen to someone tell you how bad they are failing all of their classes.
  56. Tell that person to shut up.
  57. Slam your door.
  58. Quote all the lines from your favorite movie.
  59. Play poker.
  60. Play Spite & Malice.
  61. Clip your toenails.
  62. Look through your high school yearbook.
  63. Read this message.